I wish I was better at conversation.
I always feel like i'm either not saying enough,
or that I am completely dominating.
>.> I wish I didn't do it. I try not to.
Sigh.
The people I talk to- I really care about them
I know that sometimes I talk about myself too much,
but everything they say sticks with me.
I try and understand them, who they are, what they want out of life,
everything. I think maybe that makes me weird.
I'm not sure anymore.
It's really hard for me to reply to someones story sometimes.
I feel for them, and I want to say something so badly, but when I start to type,
the words don't come.
So I tell a story about myself, hoping that they understand what it means for me to share it with them.
I'm trying to say that I understand, that I feel for them, that I know what it's like.
But it's never taken that way >.>
Obviously it's a stupid way to talk with people.
Maybe I need to look up online how to have a conversation <.<
I think I feel too attached to people sometimes.
I dunno, I just get this feeling.
No matter who it is I'm talking to,
I just want to be close to them,
understand who they are,
what their life was like,
what they like to do,
anything.
Perhaps this makes me incredibly weird. :\
I'm trying to do art again, but the feelings of before have left me,
I have no creative energy. What comes out is not only terribly done,
but depressing because I used to be able to show how I felt.
I feel pretty empty.
I wish I could make this blog private, but I can't figure out how >.>
I'm going to work on it.
People don't need to know how depressingly awkward I am.
I wish I didn't even know.
I'm pretty blocked when it comes to music too, I just sit at the keyboard, but no matter what I try to play, it all sounds so fake, and I can't make anything that sounds beautiful anymore.
I wish I could figure out what's going on...
My writing has also been affected, as well as my dreams.
All of my creative outlets are closing down, and this tension is building inside of me, and I'm not sure what to do anymore...
I really just want to scream.
UIGFEWIHFJWEIGNGEDFVJIINOHIOBUHDFHOWEOFI
FEUIHFEWIHFEWUIFHUIHWENFUHEGWUIFHEWUIFA
WIFUENIOFJEW()FNVUIOHOIHJWSODVHIWEASHARE
I feel better now.
A little bit.
Not really.
:\
