Sigh.
So,
I'm so depressed.
I keep trying to act like I'm not, but it isn't making things better.
Also,
I feel like I really am becoming addicted to the hydrocodone...
I find I'm using it more and more to ignore my feelings...
I just can't handle them anymore.
Slade wants to spend the night-
I'm not really sure how I feel about it.
Like,
Sometimes he just comes over and uses me for the shit a have,
like the Playstation,
and computer.
He was watching porn in my living room last time,
and it made me uncomfortable...
He seems to think it's an okay thing to do around people,
and I don't.
Maybe if we were attracted to each other, but I am definitely not attracted to him in the least bit,
and I'm sure he isn't attracted to me.
I think it's just because he needs somewhere to express his gay feelings.
I wish he'd just get out of the fucking closet, because I don't like only talking about gay things.
I dunno,
we just are so opposite... I really want to make it work though,
because he is sweet sometimes,
but I feel like he doesn't consider anyone's feelings when he does stuff,
he just wants what he wants,
and that's the end of it.
:\
He also keeps pestering me about my sexuality, which is incredibly annoying, because I've told him I don't want to talk about it, still, he thinks there is no way that I am asexual...
So,
I think he might be partially right.
I don't really feel like telling anyone,
but I think that I might not be asexual,
still,
I don't feel comfortable having relations with anyone at this point,
and my sex drive really is almost non-existent.
I think that people feel more comfortable around me when I say I am,
and they should be comfortable,
because I don't have feelings for anyone right now.
